Confused???

Q

I’m in my late 40’s and have a great friend who is in her early 30’s I’ve known her for 6 years and as of lately we’ve become very close and tell each other everthing. I love to hang out with her.She brings a smile to my face everytime she calls or text me.My problem is,she’s starting to date more guys after her marriage break up almost 2 years ago and confides in me about everthing. My problem I’ve fallen in love with her but I’m afraid if I tell her it will ruin our friendship.She even tried to fix me up on a blind date, that did’nt work out.I look young for my age work out daily. It’s not about dating a young woman,I wish she was older I’m just so attracted to her,and everthing about her. What do I do? I’m in that BFF predicament
‘best friends forever’

A

Hi Mark,

When somebody feels comfortable with someone, like she does with you, it becomes a double edged sword. The positive is she doesn’t feel threatened by you so she confides in her true feelings with you because she knows you can’t hurt her. When someone falls in love with someone they become vulnerable to them. This is good because it allows them to get close but bad because their guard is down making them vulnerable to attacks. People drop their guard for friends and lovers. You used the friend door which is easier to get through. But now you are through it you’re lucky to enter the “love room” through a short cut. Not possible! The only way in to the Love Room is through the Love Door. This is a harder door to unlock than the friend door. Your only chance (small chance) is to tell her that you have developed some feelings for her and exit the friend room and give her some space. Maybe, if you are lucky when you are gone she might see you in a different light. But as long as you are in the friend room she will never see you as anything more than that.