Its August 29th 2:06 p.m. It was only five days ago when I got one of the most disturbing, irate phone
calls ever! It kind of went something like this:
Happy: WHO THE HELL IS THIS PLUTO CHARACTER AND WHAT MAKES HIM THINK HE CAN JOIN OUR
Me: ‘Happy,’ calm down; I’ve never seen you like this! I might have expected this kind of reaction from
‘Grumpy’ but not you.
Happy: Have you heard of this guy? He apparently used to hang out with this group called the Solar
System but they gave him the boot!
Me: I’m familiar with him. A guy named Clyde TomBaugh discovered him in 1930. And it wasn’t the
Solar System that gave him the boot, it was the International Astronomical Union. He actually used
to be a planet.
Happy: Wait a minute Fred, are you telling me that one day a guy is a planet and the next day a he’s a
dwarf just because a group of idiots took a vote?
Fred: Well, ya, I guess that’s what I’m saying.
Happy: Hold on, Snow White wants to talk to you.
Snow White: Is this Mr. Cuellar?
Me: You can call me Fred.
Snow White: Since 1937 I’ve been stuck with these seven dwarfs and now another one is being unloaded
on me? Mr. Disney is not going to be happy about this.
Me: Mr. Disney is dead.
Snow White: Oh my! (Snow White faints and falls to the floor).
Doc: Fred this is ‘Doc.’ I think I speak for everyone when I say that none of us are happy about this.
‘Sleepy’ won’t get out of bed, ‘Sneezy’ has stopped taking his antihistamines; ‘Dopey’
doesn’t know who Pluto is going to bunk with. I mean I told him he’s over 3000 miles in diameter
and he immediately starts looking for a bigger place to live. And, now to hear that Mr. Disney is
dead, well that is about all we can take. Please inform Pluto he is not
welcome as a dwarf.
Dear International Astronomical Union,
I’ve been contacted by Snow White and the Dwarfs and they have informed me that they do not and will
not recognize Pluto as a dwarf. We’d like you to please reconsider because we are running out of things
to believe in. It may not make a difference to you whether there are eight planets or nine, but it
does matter to quite a number of us on this third planet from the sun called ‘Earth’. Life is
nothing more than the meaning we give it. But having meaning in our lives is important. Who we marry,
where we live and how we raise our children are all based on decisions we make everyday on the things
Our beliefs are our freedom. I wasn’t here when all the rules were made, but I am here now. And
before you start taking WHOLE planets away from us I think there needs to be a bigger vote.
Fred Cuellar for SW7
Talk to you next time