It’s 11:30, lights out, you’ve just finished watching Leno and you’ve given your wife a good night kiss. A few minutes pass… you’re drifting off…when you suddenly hear your Boo Bear say, “Honey, if I ever died would you ever remarry?” What do you do?
A. Pretend to be asleep.
B. Tell her that “A love match like ours can never be replaced”.
C. Tell her that after an appropriate mourning period you would naturally begin to socialize.
You’re invited to your ten-year class reunion. Your woman squeezes into her old cheerleading outfit and remarks, “My goodness! It still fits! How do I look? Do I look fat?” Would you say:
A. Maybe we need to call Jenny Craig.
B. It’s like we’ve gone back in time. You’ve never looked so beautiful.
C. The word “Oink” comes to mind.
A. It’s a little dry.
B. It’s delicious! Are you related to Julia Child?
C. Even the contestants on “Survivor” would pass on this bird.
Your wife’s best friend just completed her thesis towards her Ph.D. Your spouse ponders whether her own accomplishments in life are as worthy and asks, “Honey, in the big scheme of things do I make a difference?” Do you say:
A. In this big crazy world we live in who’s to say what matters and
B. Didn’t you drop out after the 6th grade?
C. You make a difference to me and anyone else who is lucky enough to come in contact with you.
After your wife’s best friend receives her new Ph.D., her husband pops for a new rack and face-lift for her. Your wife is appalled and says, “I can’t believe it, first she tries to prove she’s smarter than everyone else and now she’s trying to look 20 years younger. Why won’t she just grow old gracefully? Honey, do I need a face-lift?” What do you say?
A. Does the Mona Lisa need a new coat of paint? Of course not!
B. No, I like the wrinkles. They show experience and wisdom.
C. What I think we’re dealing with here is a tear down.