When is it Time to Marry?

When I was a teenager growing up there was a rock group I listened to called Three Dog Night. For those of you who haven’t heard of them they had over a dozen top ten hits like, “Joy to the World,” “One,” “Old Fashioned Love Song,” “Black & White” and “Never Been To Spain.” One of my favorites was “One.” The opening lyrics are:

One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It’s the loneliest number since the number one

I used to love that song and believed its message; nothing can be lonelier than being by yourself. Two can be as bad as one or being with someone else can be as bad as being by yourself but clearly there is no hope for being alone. So when I ask the question, “When is it time to get married?” It almost implies a rite of passage we must undertake if we are to be happy. I mean who would ask the question, “When is it time to stay single?” Naw, that makes no sense since the song clearly states two is the only number that has a chance. But is the song right?

After a lot of reflection I realized that we live in a society where “one” gets a bad rap. Think about it, if a male or female friend of yours is single and getting up in age, nobody says, “Good for him, Mr. Independent!” No, everybody says, “What’s wrong with him? Doesn’t anybody love him? At least he has his friends.” Or God forbid a woman! Turn thirty and she should be sent to a nunnery or off to spinster pre-school. We are brought up believing in soul mates and not being completed till Mr. Right or Miss Right comes along. And you know what? We are wrong! Two may be less lonely, but two doesn’t equal joy.

For example, have you ever been with someone so long that you want to pull out your hair and if pushed hard enough you’d scream out, “Look I just have to have my own space!!?” I bet you have. Look at the Buddhists. Inner peace and happiness comes from within when we find our center, our purpose, our reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Look, I’ll repeat the question, “When is it time to get married?” Or put a much better way, “When is it time to share your life with someone?” That answer is simple. When you know who you are, know where you’re going and have some idea how to get there. Then you can figure out if someone is headed in the same direction and wants to share the ride of a lifetime.

by Fred Cuellar the Diamond Guy®