Push Present

I need to pick out a “push present” for my wife but am not sure what to do. What is normal? What type of gift should it be?

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Is it fair

I have been with a man for almost 3 years. I am divorced and i have 4 great kids. The man i am with has never been married or had kids. Is it fair to exspect him to be with someone who has already done all this? (I almost feel like its cheating him.)
And i am 10 years older. He is my best friend, and we seem so perfect.

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She’s given up

My girlfriend says she has given up on love. But before that she said she suppressed it. She tells me she is trying to protect herself from getting hurt. I have known her for a long time before we became an item and i love her with all of my heart. I know she has had some very bad relationships in which she came to me asking for help. But, now it is me who needs help. I want to be with this woman and i don’t want to lose her. I need help and advice.

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Just Asking

I got engaged but my fiance is still meeting her ex-boyfriend… This is getting my crazy. How can you advise me please?

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Am I missing a sign?

My girlfriend says she wants to build a future and we have talked about getting married next October. She has 2 kids which I understand that they come first and I have been pretty supportive of that. She recently told me she needs time to focus on helping her daughter do better in school which I completely agree with. The problem is that she wants to not have me be around during the school week. I feel that this is an opportunity to start growing towards the future together as a family. She feel that our relationship may be a distraction. My concern is if I am not around to help out how can we grow our future together?

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Same break up method

My last few relationships ended by the women starting drama all the time and making it all my fault. I don’t get angry easy, not abusive, not passive aggressive, A women could just say it over and that would work. Why all the drama and blame? I don’t want this to start a pattern.

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re relationship

I met a 25-year-old gal from Nicaragua while there on business for 4 months, I am 52 look 42, and there a woman unmarried at 25 normally is with a man my age. She said she was a virgin till age 19 and then was with one man who was 51 when they first met, when she was 17, and then began their relationship when she was 19, she broke up with him for cheating about 1.5 years ago. We spent about 5 months total together, the only way to get her here is to marry; yet I am not ready. When we first met I felt like she was the one for me, yet right way her way of interacting on sex seemed very practiced and sporting vs. truly connecting with me. What scares me about her is she says she has only been with one guy who was older, yet sexually she is very advanced and extraverted, when not in public. From day one she was talking about culo (annal) sex, Bj, etc and she openly plays with herself in person and online, based on she needs sex. Her emphasis on all of this is her having a orgasm, which is always her on top tuning into herself while playing with herself. I think this is sexy in its scope of sexual fun, but it is not my experience of a woman that looks into my eyes and I into hers and we both know we are the one for each other and then both persons sexuality, emotions and spirit is more about being one with each other vs. sexual practice. I like most of these things she does sexually, yet the fact that she is so into these things verses tuning into me, it makes me feel that this is sport or practice vs. connection. She has said over and over she has only been with one guy and that she loves me, yet I do not feel like she has connected with me due to I am the one on a soul level. I feel its only that she loves who I am, as a successful good man and good catch. In her country that is a good thing to strive for. I cannot tell if this a cultural, or if she has been promiscuous and is hiding that, or if she is in love yet not on that level of true connection. Something feels wrong and I can not tell if its my perception or a problem that can be approached. I do not know how to find out if she really is this way from being promiscuous or did she some how learn this thinking this would get her man? Any suggestions? On how to get the truth and how to approach this with her. With out knowing this I cannot build trust and greater respect and communications. I have tried to approach this yet she very quickly disregards this with the same, only one man and I love you. I just some how doesn’t seem right. We went to a bilingual therapist while I was there, yet she just quickly answered him and said ok, now that’s through. Then she told me when she met with him alone he indicated it would never work out with her and me, and that she should end it. She then said she took that as he wanted her because then he asked a lot of questions of how does a man like him or me meet a woman like her. She is very beautiful and very up happy personality.

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Love S.O.S

i lost my wife about 8 months ago were not divorced yet and the other day i met up with her and her relationship that she fell into seems to have gone sour (bad and quick) well she brought up coming by more often and seeing me and i dont know what to think about this i am still so much in love with her im beside myself with hope that maybe i did not loose her after all(she did not leave to be with the other guy just kinda fel into it)what are your thoughts on this i dont know what to think about it and need some input thanks

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Getting back or getting over him

what do you do when you have been sepperated from your husband 2 years and he say’s he wanbnts to have a family again but he continues to show you signs of a single man and his word is not his bond?

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Devestated

Three weeks ago my heart was ripped out and thrown away. I returned home from working 17 days in the field and planned to propose to my girlfriend who I loved so much. When I arrived home, things seemed normal as usual. So I cleaned up and prepared for what I was about to do, and just when I got down on one knee, she told me that she need some time to herself and that she was moving out of our home. I felt and still feel betrayed and now I’m a little angry as well. The only words I could get out of her were I need to be alone for while. My question is should I give the relationship a chance or just do a 180 and go the other way?

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Alan

Nice writing. You are on my RSS reader now so I can read more from you down the road.

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i fell for mr. wrong

After reading this, your probably going to think I am crazy for continuing to talk to this person, but here goes..

I’ve been talking to this guy for about 9 months now. From day one, I wanted to be with him, and have a relationship. He however wants nothing serious. I’ve asked him a few times in these 9 months if he would ever want anything serious. He either tells me that that’s something that could happen in time or he’ll avoid the topic. I know that right there should be a dead give away that I need to move on, but somewhere along the line I fell in love with him, so it’s not that easy. He also makes it very difficult to walk away. He knows exactly what to say to make me stay, almost as if he’s controlling my mind.

I truly do not understand this man at all. Although he has a way of making me stay talking to him, he also knows how to make me feel like complete shit about myself. Every argument we have, every time I catch him in a lie, and every conflict that there is between us, he somehow makes it to be my fault, and I somehow end up believing that it is, so I let him off the hook.

I have put up with so much for this guy. Time and time AND TIME again he will tell me he is coming over, and never shows up. But I still get over it, and sure enough I am asking him the next day to come over again.

I constantly tell him how strongly i feel about him and what he is doing to me is really messing up my head. He always comes back at me, telling me I’m crazy, or I have issues and he can’t talk to me anymore. But somehow, we’ve stayed talking for 9 months.

At first, I figured he was your typical player and just trying to get sex out of me, however, we didn’t even sleep together until 3 months after we met, and sex has not been the center of our relationship. he did tell me in the beginning that he didnt want anything serious and he knew I did so he didnt want to sleep with me and hurt me. Eventually it happened though.

We text each other just about every day, and when things are good, theyre good. He is a fun person to talk to and hang out with and when we aren’t arguing about something or when he is not playing his head games, we get along great.

I feel like I’m stuck though. After 9 months of things not changing, it’s scary to see how I can’t seem to move on. I see myself letting him walk all over me, but my feelings are so strong for this guy, I don’t see myself getting out of it. I feel like I’m at the point where I know I am never going to have him, but I am still always going to want him.

he tells me he does care about me, and to some degree i do believe him. but i know he doesn’t care strongly enough to be in a relationship with me.

He justifies everything he does, and acuses me of everything under the sun. i really am starting to fear for my sanity because I know I am never going to be able to cut off contact with him because of the way I feel about him. I’ve tried talking to other guys and moving on, but I always end up going back to him.

The things he says to me sometimes makes me feel like he thinks i am a horrible person. If this is the case, I don’t understand why he still choses to keep talking to me as well.

I know he HAS to see how much I care about him, because everyone around us does.

Another problem is that we know alot of the same people and actually work together as well, so I have no choice but to see him, and hear about him on a daily basis. Many people who know him don’t know this side of him, which makes me feel even more crazy.

Before he and I began to talk, I know he was in a serious, long-term relationship, so I know he is not incapable of being in one.

I want to know what I should do and how I can begin to move on. I also want to know if you have any idea as to what is going on in his head and why he acts the way he acts.

i know this was really long and kinda scrambled, but this is actually the first time I have gotten all of this off my chest.

Thanks,
Marilyn

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Birthday

Hi There,
I am on the hunt for a diamond for the past 2 months now. I was hoping to give to my girlfriend before her 30th birthday…Now after reading this book, I still need more time in my search. What should I get her for her 30th Birthday?…I was hoping to give her the ring before hand, but now it looks it’s goig to be after…
any thoughts?
Thank you kindly,
Elan

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new love

Im in the middle of a devorce and the last thing on my mind was to find someone new and I did my question is if you see any type of future for me and this women or am I getting played off the rebound?

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i dont know what to do

i am a muslim woman and my husband has another wife. i love him and dont want to lose him. I just want to get rid of his other wife. please help me

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Infidelity

Hi,

Last Sept-Nov, my wife of 10 years had an affair with a friend from church. Since my discovery of it in early November, she has lied to me repeatedly about various things regarding what happened. She later admitted to having lied about some things, but is still deceptive regarding others. She says nothing happened sexually between them, that it was just emotional. But this doesnt fit with all the facts that I have. Also, if nothing happened why would she lie about it to this day? I have made clear to her that my patience is running thin and that I need truth and honesty from her in order for us to move forward. My questin is, how long do i wait for her to get it and begin telling the truth? I love her and dont want to end our marriage, but I cant live with someone who lies to me over and over.

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What do I Say?

Hi. My girlfriend has recently stated that her life is screwed up. I’ve asked her if there is anything I can do, and she just says no. I ask her if she wants to talk about it and she says no. So what do I do, because she has kind of been ignoring me lately, and I love her so much and don’t want to lose her.

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